12:25 a.m. - 2003-04-04
quiet night, digi cam
friday. april 4. 12:30 AM
lots of words inside me.
last night was nice. val came over, and first we walked across the street and bought a bottle of sangiovese. i made spinach tortelloni with red sauce, and asparagus. we turned on VH1 to find a weird special about michael jackson's 30th anniversary of something, and watched with the sound off for a while. though as time passed the show just got weirder and weirder so the sound went back on. jackson five reunion! and also, you can say everything you want about baby dangling and nose jobs, but my friends also had these things to say. "you have to admit he's an amazing performer," and "he dances like gravity doesn't apply to him." which I have to agree with. later after val went home, I fell asleep watching a dvd about bob dylan.
last night i dreamt i got dumped and fired on the same day, so i decided to go back to Rome with a group of students. lots of peripheral in the dream, too: dawn, my dad, losing a ticket, my bosses. though I was so excited to go back to my roma again, the dream never went past being in the airplane, which was taxiing down a busy chicago freeway. i woke up with words in my head, a phrase inscribed on the base of the garibaldi monument on the janiculum hill: Roma O Morte. Rome or Death.
work stretched long today. as i was walking to my car in the rain, i thought about how some days there are only two things that get me to the office: coffee, and the lake. and today it was raining so the lake wasn't such a draw. and frankly, i can get coffee anywhere.
i could go into detail here about how my workplace is so weird, but i'll make the story short. the company is in a downtime now, we really have no income. next week some publisher from new york is coming to visit our office. and my bosses bought three new computers to make it look like we have more people working for us. so apparently money that I could be having as a raise is going to computers for my imaginary co-workers.
the business world is a place I can't really conceive. i leave the office for lunchtime even if I don't need to buy food or run errands. i walk south towards the loyola campus and get Lime tea from a cafe and listen to music in my headphones, things that bring me to a more centered, less crazy place in my brain. joni mitchell, the rentals, dj shadow, john vanderslice.
After work I went to Best Buy to finally purchase my digital camera! and this is exciting. most of this evening's activity has been messing around and figuring stuff out. yay for pictures! lots and lots of me, and my stuffed robot, and our apartment, and pretty much everything around here. my photo dork roommate took tons of close up pictures of of our eyes. they're super huge and creepy but also way awesome. i will most likely be posting all of these soon.
i got an email from a friend tonight telling me that his girlfriend dumped him for good. and i know how sad he is. is this the year of the breakup? i can think of very few of my friends that haven't split up this year, and those are the people who've been together forever and are practically married anyway.
but things are starting to seem elastic to me anyway. i feel really flexible, like i could stretch out through almost anything and make it fit. it's a product of all this change, I know, and it's a comforting thought. i can be okay, i've been okay despite too many changes to count.
hey, friday! i hope you all have fun and friendship for the next few days.
kt
