11:49 a.m. - 2003-10-03
guiding star
friday, october 3.
dreams last night: gritty industrialism, depressing rusty cold war era public transportation, flirty dresses at an art gallery, an expansive curving blue sanctuary, missed connections, fountains, L.A., cartoons. my second life in the nighttime.
yesterday was the best ever: home in time for the Simpsons, and one of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld. its mind boggling how easy I am to please. later, meeting val at the liquor store, walking down Division, girl talking, and eating really good ravioli, crab cakes, drinking chianti. when I woke up this morning my lips were still wine stained.
i am not getting anything done today. there is rain, intermittently. I'm eating cracklin' oat bran, making nonsense sketches, listening to the decemberists. by fridays my mind is drained. it's quiet in the office as everyone burrows into their cubicles and hopes no one notices they're not working. no one wants to be here.
if I was still living in Rome, today I would go to Santa Maria Sopra Minerva, light a candle, kneel, and cry. not for sadness, but just because. under that blue ceiling it feels so good to let everything inside me come out.
i am full of commas today. i'm erasing a lot, but I think it's still here somewhere.
today my chinese fortune cookie says: You are the guiding star of his existence.
like, whoa.
