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8:12 p.m. - 2002-09-02
what am i so scared of?
monday. september 2. 8:12 PM

september pulled a sneak attack on me.

I had a really good weekend of friendship. old bonds still tight, new bonds growing tighter. I couldn't live without my friends. and saint elmos fire.

but mostly, though: I start my new job tomorrow and I am really scared. I really don't want to be scared or nervous or anything, I want to be excited and raring to go. but there's this anxiety that I can't shake.

where has all my confidence gone? this doesn't feel like me. I know I can do it, I know it will be alright. Ask me tomorrow at this time how I'm doing and I think I'll be 100% less tense.

I bought new shoes for my first day of work. they are cute!

also, I freaked out this weekend about the fact that I have to move again in less than two weeks. I think I've finally decided on two options for location: edison park, or the wrigleyville area. but now that I've decided, there's a lot more decisions to be made from there.

i think my life maintains a constant level of difficulty. if I'm not worried about a job, I'm worried about a place. and once I get that I'm sure some other big stupid drama will happen. man, I need to calm down.

also, this apartment reeks like boys. and not the normal ultra-cologne thing, a really unpleasant sweaty thing. bah.

friendship. hope you had a great weekend.

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