3:16 p.m. - 2005-11-09
once again, this entry is a mismash of paragraphs written covertly on a sticky note of my work computer. still no internet at home; I can't decide if that's good or bad. good: less time wasted on the internet. bad: more TV watched. . . meaning more time wasted watching TV. so they kind of cancel each other out.
on saturday night it stormed so hard all the leaves fell off the trees, and I walked into church on a carpet of dizzy, shocking yellow. church was good, Feast of All Saints Day, trumpets and trombones and timpani and choir in the balcony, and sunday was beautiful all around, bright blue sky, crisp.
but the leaves are almost gone from a lot of the trees now, moving into the greyer days of winter, dark at 5 PM. It seems the retail world has barreled full force into the Christmas season, but it's just not that time yet for me. I haven't felt the Christmas season hush yet. I think it comes when the temperature is below 35 and the stars sparkle harder in the cold sky.
all I'm interested in right now are sappy little twee things: leaves, post-it notes, mittens, afternoon tea. I think I'm overfocusing on small stuff since I feel a little lost, career wise, at the moment. I feel like I'm not a good business person because I don't bounce back very well from failures, even small failures. I always wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that I never played team sports as a kid. Is it something I can learn to do as an adult?
good things though, things to be thankful for: a new, fabulous pair of shoes (is this too over the top? they're gold t-strap peep-toe wedges with faux snakeskin detail. . . . they're so out of control. I love 'em. my first splurge in a while); a loving husband that puts up with my crying over stupid minute failures, new pastels from the cute art store downtown; and this terrific weather, rolling down the car windows and singing along with the fruit bats.
so that's all for now. just plugging away at everything.