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8:10 a.m. - 2005-12-21
shaken moods, ups and downs
tuesday, december 20

my inner loner is really flourishing these days. and I don't think that's really a good thing.

so. ups and downs. uncomfortable workdays, my nearest coworker just shooting out rays and spears of bitterness and bad mood, I swear it's like 10 degrees colder in her aura. And me catching that bad mood like a cold. Then a turnaround, getting happier as I drive into the city for a Wine Exchange party with the group of girls I always feel like I sort of but not really belong to; but it's getting better now. And it was exactly what I needed: snacks and lighthearted gossip. watching the chicago skyline in the east as I drive home, the car finally warming up, laura veirs clear voice singing about galaxies and stars, think about how the skyline looks like those kind of, in the cold dark.

now I'm eating gingerbread cookies for breakfast and listening to leslie feist sing "lo how a rose e'er blooming" over and over.

I'm not really sure what's bringing me down these days. Really nothing in particular. This weekend I had a visitor and we went for tea and went shopping on Armitage, which I think is either 1 or 2 on my list of favorite places to be in the city. And I finished Gone with the Wind and it is shooting up my favorite books list. but on the flip side. Wednesday is the day of the year with the least sunlight, and it has been so cold. I do feel so isolated in the suburbs sometimes. There's a high possibility that it's my own fault.

But I can get back up so quickly too, like all the sudden a cheerful mood will come out of nowhere. Like now, with the long cool shadows across our front lawn, and the streaks of sun inbetween where the snow sparkles, so pretty.

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