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10:08 p.m. - 2005-08-12
uneasiness, fashion ambitions
thursday, august 12.

this morning I woke up to NPR on the too-loud clock radio, Renee Montagne reporting about the anniversary of the Watts Riots. Waking up to a riot is unsettling.

Or maybe it could be that I'm so nervous about not having sent out wedding gift thank you notes yet that I'm not sleeping well anymore. This should be easy enough to remedy, unless you're a lazy jerk like me.

Or the whole house thing. I think buying a house has sort of been a foil to my personal brand of immaturity. Even though this is the most mature thing I've ever done, it somehow makes me feel like a little kid. Though at this point I kind of wonder if I'll ever feel like a "real" grown-up.

I'm also feeling really uneasy over the fact that, if or when I leave my job, it will be tres difficile. I'd like to not go into it too much right now. I'll be frank though: we're starting a new project and I am doing the bulk of it. Or at least, that's what they think. And it's probably not the case. Anyway, work drama is stupid to write about.

It could also be too much coffee.

My sentence structure is terrible today.

Anyway, it's raining this morning, which is a welcome change from the drought and heat that's been sitting on us for the past month. I feel better in the rain. I don't even mind my commute so much when it's grey and I have good rainy day music to listen to.

Good things: tomorrow is Friday. there are good weekend plans, and lots of nice things on the horizon.

also I get paid soon. Which is great since I'm being bitten by the fall/back to school/ridiculously grand fashion ambitions shopping bug right now. My autumn/winter '05 look is either going to be "english schoolboy" or "nerdy but adorable," though I guess that's pretty much one and the same, no?

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